Since our SummitLife group kicks off tomorrow, I thought I ought to go ahead and write a post about the last topic from the training: Small Group Dilemmas.
Small Group Dilemmas
I think the word “Dilemma” was chosen because it was taught in the same session as Dynamics, and we Baptists love alliteration. What I think we’re really looking at are situations than can arise which are common to small groups and might be problematic if not handled well. There are a few important things to keep in mind with all of these.
- Use the scripture. Remember 2 Timothy 3:16-17. There is always a word from God for every situation, whether it’s specifically about the problem you’re facing or generally about a heart condition. God’s word speaks truth, and it’s very, very useful.
- Prayer works. Small groups are a critical point for people to see not only a belief in the fact that prayer does work, but that prayers are answered. See Colossians 4:2, 1st Thessalonians 5:17, and Psalm 65:2. And Phillipians 4:6-7. And 2 Chronicles 7:14-15. And… you get the idea.
- Speak with grace. When problems come up, chose your words carefully. Be careful to encourage, and be humble and compassionate. See 1 John 1:5-10.
Keep in mind with all of this that most people don’t know what kind of dilemma they might be causing. They probably didn’t come in with the intention of causing trouble.
Common Scenarios
These are a few of the most common situations a small group would face. It’s not an exhaustive list, but it covers some pretty regular occurrences and how you might deal with them.
- The Story Teller always has a personal experience that relates to everything that comes up. Not that these stories are always bad, but if it gets out of hand, try roping the discussion by asking how it relates to what you’re studying. It might be helpful to give an outline in the beginning of the study time, to set up some structure to the time. If it becomes a repeated problem, you might have to pull the person aside sometime outside of the discussion time and talk to them (remembering to speak with grace). This person might be a potential facilitator of discussion time.
- The Discussion Dominator tends to try to control the discussion and monopolize group interactions. First of all, don’t play this role as the leader. Allow everybody in your group the chance to contribute. If you have a person in your group that does this a lot, research shows that you can sit beside that person and they’ll do it less. It’s got something to do with eye contact. Also, you can try talking to them outside of the study time about giving others the opportunity to speak up. If your group has been together for a while, you might try calling on people to respond to a particular question – but be careful not to put people on the spot.
- The Dead Silence just happens sometimes. Maybe it’s a tough question, or a difficult passage to interpret, but once in a while you’ll hear the crickets chirp. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad leader. Don’t freak out – give people time to think and respond. Try asking broad questions that are a little easier to answer to jump-start the discussion.
- The emotional breakdown is one that scares me a little. I’ve just not been around a situation like this often, but when you’re digging into the word of God or having a heavy discussion, it can get emotional. If somebody in your group has a breakdown moment, the important thing is to be sensitive. Hear them out. Pray for them, even right then. It could be that the Spirit is at work in them, so be encouraging. If you’ve got a situation where this comes up often, reach out to elders and counselors in the church. We have people called area leaders at The Summit who are here for situations like this.
And most importantly, in all things, pray, both as a group and for your group.
Well, that’s it! That’s the end of the SummitLife Leader Training material. It’s been a lot of help for me in preparing for leading a small group, and I’m looking forward to putting it into practice. Stay tuned to this blog for something a little different in the near future.
