Small Group Dynamics

 

After writing out my thoughts on Small Group Dynamics, I thought it was more than enough for one post. I’ll save Dilemmas for the next post.

 

What are Dynamics?

Dynamics are the way people in the group interact. I’ll be using the “Group Dynamics” chapter from Leading Life Changing Small Groups by Bill Donahue to get a lot of this information – I would encourage you to read it for what I leave out.

 

Group Roles

At different stages in your small group’s life, people will play different roles (whether they mean to or not). Some are helpful roles, such as:

• the Initiator who sparks discussion
• the Elaborator who looks for more than just the facts
• the Reviewer who clarifies by summarizing
• the Encourager who builds-up members of the group

Some can be destructive, such as:

• the Aggressor who criticizes others
• the Rabbit-chaser who gets lost on tangents
• the Quibbler who argues over every detail
• the Dominator who tries to control the group interactions 

I would recommend reading “Group Dynamics” (mentioned above) for detailed descriptions of these and other roles. As a leader, what’s important is to recognize and be sensitive to the roles your group members play, and not to label group members. Remember, these roles are likely to change over time. 

 

Learning Styles

We don’t all learn the same way – in other words, there are different techniques that help us grasp an idea or concept better than others. The techniques that work for one person may not do much for another. A good leader should be aware of these techniques and try to use varying methods in order to be more effective. These are three common learning styles that cover a wide range of people: 

1. Visual Learners: People who tend to learn best by seeing. Handouts, story boards, and props are good tools for this type of learner.
2. Auditory Learners: People who learn by hearing. Discussions are helpful. Encourage verbal response and input. Non-distracting background music can be helpful as well.
3. Kinesthetic Learners: People who learn by doing. Your group’s commitment to service projects and ministries helps these people learn by seeing truth in action more so than seeing or hearing. 

Personalities

People come with personalities. In other words, God wired them in such a way that they tend to respond and react to situations differently from others. The point of understanding the personalities is not to label group members, but to be aware and understanding of those tendencies. These questions can help with that – ask yourself each one  while thinking about the members in your group.

1. Do they tend to be  more introverted or extroverted? Does extensive interaction with people tend to energize them (extrovert) or drain them (introvert)?
2. Do they experience life with their senses or more intuitively? Do they make insightful judgments about the way life is and how it functions, or do they tend to seek experiences where they can taste, touch, feel, smell, and hear what is happening around them?
3. Do they initially process information and decisions with their head or with their heart? Some people are more logical and cognitive (head), while others are feelers who tend to respond more emotionally (heart).
4. Do they approach life in a structured or unstructured fashion? Are they more likely to plan out each day of a family vacation before they leave the house, or are they more likely to rent a car and decide along the way?

The author also suggests asking these questions to your group as a great exercise to have some fun and grow respect for the way God wired each member of the group.

 

Spiritual Gifts

Each member of the group has a special, God-given gift. Your small group can help them grow and cultivate that gift as they mature in Christ by casting a vision for mutual ministry, helping members identify their gifts, discussing giftedness with each other, and serving in areas of giftedness. Discuss and consider and discuss ministry opportunities within the group that will utilize people’s gifts.

 

The Holy Spirit

Just as the Holy Spirit gifts the members of your group so that it functions as a body, he also guides and teaches them through the Word and through experiences and through serving one another. A leader needs to be sensitive to how the Spirit is moving in the members of the group.  

• Be in prayer that the Spirit would open hearts and minds and convict people of their sins in group meetings. 
• Be sensitive to a group consensus – the Spirit could be leading the group in a new direction 
• Be sensitive to the Spirit leading you to discuss a particular issue. Tell the group about it – not to force them to play along, but  to let them know God is leading you that way. Then decide as a group in prayer and through the Word.
• Allow time for the Spirit to work. If the group can’t come to an agreement, sometimes the best answer is to give the Sprit time to move in people’s hearts. Encourage members to pray through it, and allow God to work within them over time.
• Always obey the Bible on its commands. But where the Scripture is silent, seek the direction of God through his Spirit in prayer.

History

In addition to Bill Donahue’s material, Spence Shelton (our SummitLife pastor) says that it’s important to recognize your group members’ individual histories. People come with not only a personality, but a past. People’s past experiences will influence the way they interact with your group. The group leader needs to be sensitive to this as the member integrates into the group. 

 

Be sure to add any questions or comments you might have by clicking Comments below.

Uncle Josh

Yes, that’s right — I’m an uncle! Can’t believe it myself. My sister and her husband Kevin welcomed a brand new baby girl into the world on Thursday, March 20th, 2008. Her name is Karisa, and she’s the cutest little ninja-faced baby I’ve ever seen. Proof? You got it. This was taken last Friday.

Stay tuned for the final installment in the small groups series on Dynamics and Dilemmas in Small Groups (due later today). 

Being a Missional Small Group

 

monday night, we wrapped up our summitlife leader training with a double-header on being a missional small group and dynamics and dilemmas in small groups. today i’ll talk about being a missional small group.

 

What does “Missional” mean?

To be missional is to act according to a mission, or a mission statement. In our case, the church has defined a very simple, succinct mission statement: “Love God, Love Each Other, Love the World.” We’ve already covered two ways a SummitLife group loves God in the first two posts on studying the Bible and Prayer. But, in being a missional small group, we also want to love each other (that is, those in our group and our church) and the world (everybody else). 

 

Loving Each Other.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

 

From this verse, we can take two very clear statements about loving one another:

1. It’s a command! Christ clearly calls us here to love each other the way He has loved us.
2. Our love is our testimony. The watching world should know us as followers of Christ primarily by our love for each other. See also Galations 5:13. 

The small group should be a place where the love of Christ is on display. You’re in the best position to “be there” in times of need for the people in your group, because week in and week out, you’re in their lives. But this extends beyond the bounds of the small group. Your group needs to be involved with the church and its ministries. Challenge those in your group to be committed to a service ministry, and hold each other accountable for it. 

 

The love of Christ is meant for more than just those people who are already in church, which leads to part three of our mission statement:

 

Love the World.

This is about showing the love of Christ to those who don’t already know it. In Acts 16, we find basically three types of people in the world represented:

1. Lydia (aka, the God-fearer). She was a worshipper of God. Though she hadn’t heard the gospel of Christ, she knew God, and what she knew of God, she obeyed. She represents people who have a Christian background and are familiar with church, but haven’t ever made a personal commitment to follow Christ.
2. Slave girl (aka, the disadvantaged). What appears to be a demon-possessed mockingbird that stalked Paul for several days actually represents more than that. Note that she was a slave to her masters, who sought nothing higher than financial gain. She represents those poor, homeless, or incarcerated (and otherwise disadvantaged) people in our city who need the love of Christ in a very tangible way.
3. The Jailer (aka, the skeptic). The jailer here represents the watching world – those who don’t believe or follow God. They need to see us display the love of Christ for our testimony to be effective. Can you see that the love of Christ displayed here by Paul changes his heart? Notice that this was before they preached the Word to him.

All three of these people were witnessed to in different ways. Lydia came to Christ in what was basically a Bible study. The Slave girl was saved by the power of the Spirit (and even though it’s not recorded that she came to saving faith, in the New Testament, exorcisms are almost always accompanied by conversions). The Jailer was shown an act of love in a time of desperation. We have to be flexible with how we carry the gospel to the world, because people have different needs. 

 

Our Mission Field.

In Acts 1:8, we are called by Christ to be his witnesses “in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” Well, we don’t live in Jerusalem… but we can apply the same model.

• Jerusalem – The Triangle (RDU area). This is our back yard – our city. In our SummitLife groups, we can reach people here through our church services, our evangelism, and our Hope For Durham projects and partner ministries. 
• Judea and Samaria – Our Country (USA). We are partnered with church plants all over the country. SummitLife groups need to adopt a Church planter with whom you can be in constant communication and prayer for the things that are going on where they are. Small groups can also partner with these churches by sending people to go and spend time with those church plants to help meet their needs and encourage them.
• The end of the earth – International Missions. Again, the Summit is partnered with international church plants all over the place. The application is much like that for our North America church plants – Pray, Send, and Go. 

Why SummitLife groups?

Simply put, SummitLife groups are the absolute core of our church – it’s where relationships are formed, and discipleship happens in relationships. These groups are the feet of the church – the means by which mission statements and ideals and beliefs become actions.

real update pending…

I’m still working on my next post – it’s been a crazy week. In the mean time, be sure to check out this post over at Spence Shelton’s blog for a great look at how Ephesians 3 models a powerful, spirit-filled prayer. 

Prayer as a Small Group

 

Reflections on SummitLife leader training, part two – Prayer. By the way, this isn’t my original material. The SummitLife Pastor gives these sessions. I’m just chewing on it for the sake of my own understanding, and hopefully others’ as well. Without further delay, here’s what we learned about Prayer.

Prayer is basically talking with God. But let’s see if we can fill that idea out a little more. As I mentioned last week, the Bible should be paramount in our small groups. So, the natural first step would be to look at what God says about prayer in the Bible.

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7 

We ought to pray in all situations, and God will give us peace.

“I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day.” – 2 Timothy 1:3

Paul, who wrote the biggest chunk of the New Testament, prayed constantly. So should we.

“if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayer that is made in this place.” – 2 Chronicles 7:14-15 

God’s people are to be a people of prayer. God hears prayer. God answers prayer.

“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” – Colossians 4:2 

Key word to notice here: steadfastly. Pray your tail off. 

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” – Hebrews 4:16. 

Boo-yow! God, in his own Word, instructs us to pray with confidence! We are loved by the Father, and he hears our pleas. Pray then with confidence, and not in fear or doubt.

So, why pray in small groups? 

1. Prayer Keeps our Small Group meetings God centered. 

• Prayer is participating in the purposes of God. It corrects our tendency to focus horizontally (that is, on each other) and puts our focus on God (aka, vertically). Graeme Goldsworthy puts it well – “God graciously allows us to be involved in the carrying out of his will. He gives us the privilege of identifying with his will by asking him to do what he has already determined to do.” It’s not trying talk God into doing something he normally wouldn’t – it’s a way of getting after what he already wants to do. God knows the plans he has for us, and boy are they good (Jeremiah 29:11-13). 

• Prayer allows us to participate in what the Holy Spirit is doing. In Jude 20, we get this idea that are supposed to pray in the Holy Spirit. John Piper explains it this way – “When you pray in the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God is ‘moving’ you to pray. That is, his power motivates, enables, and energizes your prayer. And when you pray in the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God is ‘guiding’ how you pray and what you pray for. So to pray in the Holy Spirit is to be moved and guided by the Holy Spirit. We pray by his power and according to his direction.” I pray that I would pray like that. 

• Prayer expresses our trust in God and not our own ability. Piper says “It is wonderfully suited to express our inadequacy and God’s all-sufficiency.” We pray to God because we need God. 

2. Prayer Deepens our Biblical fellowship 

• by expressing care. Paul models this in Romans 15:13 – “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” I’ve found that in the time I spend praying with the men in my small group that when we pray for what God wants to do in a person’s life, the love of Christ is shown in a tangible way. 

• by deepening our relationships. When we pray in this way, it serves as a reminder that as Christians, we have a common bond. Our interests in at least this way are permanently and gloriously aligned. Focusing on that solidifies the group on a spiritual level. 

Application

So, how do you pray in your small group? Remember first of all that prayer is learned. Don Whitney in his book “Spiritual Disciplines of the Christian Life” says “There is a sense in which prayer needs to be taught to a child of God no more than a baby needs to be taught how to cry. But crying for basic needs is minimal communication, and we must soon grow beyond that infancy.” In other words, prayer does come naturally to a degree, but mature, passionate, Spirit-led prayer is learned. Three ways to do that are

1. Pray the “A.C.T.S.” model

• Adoration: Praise God for who He is
• Confession: Admit that you are a sinner
• Thanksgivig: Thank God for grace and mercy and all He gives us
• Supplication: Then, bring your requests (in confidence!)

2. Meditate on the Scripture

• Spend some time camped out on one passage
• Pray God’s word back to him

3. Pray with others in your group

• There is a lot that can be learned from praying with others

4. Prayer-time Hacks

• Use note cards to record prayer requests. This encourages folks to be succinct in making the request, and gives you more time to pray
• Pray between requests – not after they’ve all been given, but after each one. That way you can focus on each request and not on remembering who you’re praying for and how.
• Break up into smaller groups. My young-marrieds’ group breaks up into guys and girls. It’s a huge difference.
• Pray first, then study the word. This does two things – you don’t run out of time and rush through praying, and it’s a natural setup for praying to God that he would prepare you for studying his Word before you begin that part of your time together.
• Pray throughout the week for the folks in your group – and let them know you are!
• Acknowledge answered prayers, so the folks in your group can rejoice with you!

As always, comments are open.

Understanding the Word of God

 

These are my reflections on session one two of our SummitLife Leader Training about Bible Interpretation for the Small Group Leader. 

If what Paul says about Scripture is true — that is, that “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work” (2 Tim 3:16-17), then Scripture MUST be paramount in our small groups. However, there is a right way and a wrong way to handle the Bible.

One one hand, we are able to handle the Bible with Faith that we can understand the Word of God through his Spirit (1 Cor 2:9-12). This is an amazing thought – that God empowers those who believe to read his Word and to gain meaning and insight from it. Insight about what? Anything that can equip us for “good works.” Perhaps most importantly, we can gain insight into who God is, and what he has done, and our appropriate response. So pray to God that the Spirit will empower you to understand his word, and press on in faith that he will.

However, we should handle the Bible with a measure of humility. After all, we’re sinful creatures. The very same passage that gives us faith and confidence to approach the Word should also caution us to be humble, since it is not through our own ability that we are made wise, but through God’s! Your ability to read and understand scripture isn’t meant to give you a platform for boasting. Rather, it is meant to point you back to the grace and mercy and patience of the Father. 

So, what’s the application here?  

Find the author’s original meaning. Since the author is the one who ascribes the intended meaning of a passage (and not the reader), this is crucial. Examine the words and grammar of the passage. What is the author actually saying? Also, examine the literary and historical context of the passage. There is very little more dangerous than taking a passage out of context and trying to apply it to your life. Sometimes, the literary context is a few verses or a chapter. You may need to look at the story across several chapters. Also, gaining a better understanding of the “when and where” in a particular passage can contribute to understanding. There are some really cool study Bibles that do a good job of this with chapter introductions and footnotes. Not a bad idea to have one.

Note the genre. There are several kinds of books in the Bible – poetry, narratives, parables, letters, prophecy, proverbs, lamentations, and laws – all different in their uses and interpretations. You wouldn’t read a narrative book the same way as a book of law. It’s helpful to recognize this before studying a passage.

The most important step in studying Scripture is looking for Christ. As the four-part story of the Bible unfolds (creation, fall, redemption, and new creation), Christ is shown in every single part. So, connect the passage you’re reading to that overall story line. How does it reveal the need for a savior? How does it show God’s disposition to provide a Savior? Does the passage foretell of the coming Messiah, or reflect on him? God sends his Son into the world to redeem sinners – what part of that story does the passage you’re studying tell?

There are also a few things you want to avoid when studying the scriptures. Avoid allegorizing the passage and subtracting meaning. Don’t moralize scripture and take it out of the context of the overall story – for example, Jesus feeding the 5,000 isn’t about sharing your lunch. Avoid pulling things out of context. It’s just dangerous. And finally, remember: the Bible has an Old Testament and a New Testament. Both are scripture, so study them both. It’s often helpful to see what a New Testament passage says about an Old Testament passage, or to read a New Testament passage in light of the Old Testament story to which it refers. 

One tip that I’ll add is to check out sound, trustworthy commentaries. The commentaries of folks like Matthew Henry and John Calvin have stood the test of time for a reason – they’re onto something. Don’t make the mistake of taking them as Scripture, because they aren’t. But they’re still useful in helping us find meaning when we find ourselves stumped.

Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Snide remarks? Comments are open…

welcome to my new blog

My name is Josh Dyson, and in a few short weeks, I’ll be a small group leader. I’ll be using this blog to jot down some thoughts and ideas that I have throughout the journey in hopes of accomplishing a couple of things. Those goals are as follows:

•  A place to write-out the thoughts, ideas, questions and comments I have as I progress through the training stages of becoming a small group leader.
• A central location for finding it all that doesn’t involve a piece of paper or a drawer.
• A way of keeping tabs on my progress and discipline as I’m basically journaling through this process, and on into leading the group itself.
• A record of all of these things, for future reference.

For starters, let me tell you a little about myself. I’m a follower of Christ (aka, a Christian) and I’m a member of The Summit Church in Durham, North Carolina. I’ve been attending for a little over two years now, and I’ve actually lead a small group there before I got married. By the way, I got married to the most amazing, beautiful, and patient woman in the world on October 13th of 2007. That was just shy of two years after trusting the claims of Christ and placing my faith in Him as my Lord and Savior (all glory to God for that). I’d love to tell you more about how He worked in my life through friends and experiences and through The Summit Church, but I’ll get into that some other time. 

 

As for now, my wife and I are basically answering the plea of our growing church. Recently, hundreds of people have come to The Summit and told us in one way or another that they were interested in being a part of a small group – what we call SummitLife groups. Those groups need leaders, and I feel like that’s a role that I need to fill (both for myself and for others).

 

I hope that you find encouragement (or can offer some!) through this blog. I’d love to hear from you, so the comments feature will always be on. Probably.

 

So again, welcome!